6 Tips On What To Do When Your Partner Says They Need Space
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where your partner asks you to give them space? It can be a harrowing experience. In America, 51% of married couples admitted to some distractions that led to asking for space in their relationships. While it is normal to be upset or even confused by this request, it is better to honor their wishes. Your failure to do so could spell an end to your relationship or breed animosity. Or, your decision to be selfless and step back could help your bond with the other person. So, what do you do when your partner asks for space? Keep reading to discover some useful tips.
- Respect the request made
It is better to respect their request for space rather than to convince them not to. In respecting the request, you can calmly ask why the other person needs the distance, and how much time they would need. You need to find out how the person would want their space- are you allowed to check in on them from time to time, or do they prefer zero communication? By finding out what they expect from you in that situation, you can meet their demands and eliminate any prospect of miscommunication between both of you.
Interestingly, one of the drawbacks of respecting someone’s freedom is that they begin to think you do not care enough about them. Let the other person understand that you are giving them space because you care about them and the relationship. To ensure you are both on the same page, go further to explain that you will provide that space until the other person is ready to get close once more.
- Appreciate their honesty but agree on a timeframe
The reliance on technology in your everyday life may have positive and negatives effects on your relationship. Most communication is done through technology- all the hours texting and calling each other. This also means that it is relatively easy for one person to stop communicating without explaining why. If your partner is open about their need for space, you should be appreciative of their honesty. It is better than not being told at all. Both of you must decide on a timeframe for your time apart. Is it a day, a week or months? Leaving it open may signal a total breakdown of your relationship.
- Focus on yourself
During this period, acknowledge and manage your emotions. You may feel sadness, anger, frustration and worry, but you must distract yourself with entertaining activities or social events. Fill your days with things that help decrease the risk of breaking down or feeling miserable. For example, why not visit a spa and get a soothing massage to loosen up tension in your body while you listen to some relaxing music for massage therapists. The temptation to reach out to the other person may be high at this point, so avoid contacting them via social media. Restrain yourself from liking or commenting on pictures or statements they post on their pages. You will be flouting the rule if you do.
- Reassess what may have gone wrong
As you have some time to do some introspection, begin to reflect on the reasons your partner requested for space. This exercise helps you commence a healing process for yourself. Reflect on what happened and ask yourself if there was anything you could have done differently in that situation- doing this allows laying you to lay down guidelines for the future of your relationship. Plan your apology if you were at fault and be sincere about it. You do not want the other person thinking you cooked up a few lines in hopes of sweeping things under the carpet. In some instances, you may have done nothing at all to warrant such a request. The truth is sometimes a little bit of space is healthy for your relationship. It can reset a hearty balance for both of you.
- Let go fears of being alone
Do you have unsolved attachment difficulties from your childhood? If you do, a request for space from your partner may create anxiety and lead to depression. There are differences between rational and irrational worry. You do not want to belong to the latter. Remember that every healthy relationship thrives on different levels of personal space. Without it, unhealthy codependency sets in to harm both individuals in the relationship. Therefore, if the request your partner made is opening up a can of worms from your childhood, seek immediate help from a Clinical Psychologist. Your inability to grant the right for space could be a sign of mental health issues.
- Stay neutral when your partner is ready
Staying neutral is one of the most challenging things to do when your partner returns to you after you have granted them that space. At this point, you are bursting at the seams with questions. Now is not the time to do it. The purpose of remaining neutral is like testing ground for both of you.
The space your partner asked for usually is to help them sort their emotions out. It may not be about you. By remaining unbiased when they return, you help eliminate feelings of shame, blame or even guilt. What you do instead is to invite them into a loving atmosphere. At the right time, when they are ready, you will not need any prompting to discuss the issues that warranted the distance in the first place.
Your ability to remain sane during a period such as this is a mark of personal maturity. Your relationship can bounce back and be better than before if you utilize the period effectively. Remember to respect the request from your partner, agree on a timeframe, take that time to focus on yourself, and do not be afraid of being alone. Hearing the feared words, ‘I need space’ is not all doom and gloom. You may consider it as a rejuvenation period for your relationship. Hopefully, you picked up a few points exactly what you need to do.